A PIECE OF ME

This morning I was woken up by a disheartening phone call—my dad called to tell me that my grandpa was in a coma. The word hit me like a punch to the chest; I couldn't breathe and immediately fell apart. Tyler held me for a bit while I cried it out, but I bucked up and got ready for the day. Work was a bit of a blur; it was obvious my head wasn't there. In the early afternoon I ended up slicing my thumb pretty bad while trimming some certificates I had printed. I ran to the kitchen for some quick first aid and went back to my desk putting pressure on my bloody thumb. Sydney, noticing I was quite frazzled, asked if I wanted to go somewhere for lunch. I wasn't hungry, but I went along for the ride. I broke down on the way and told her everything sobbing with frustration and sadness. My grandpa is very old and my Aunt Laurel said that this would be the best way for him to go, peacefully and painlessly, but it still is hard. Sydney took me for some much-appreciated bundt cake and we went back to work. She told me I should go home, but there were so many things I needed to finish up. By 3 pm, though, I was a mess: my dad had sent me an e-mail with an update on my grandpa and he attached a photo of my aunts, uncles, cousins and grandma gathered around my grandpa's hospice bed. His eyes were closed and he looked frail; he looked completely foreign to me. I lost it and immediately decided I was going to leave early after all. I came home and decided to post the pictures I had taken from our visit to my grandparents' home on Sunday to the Duncan family Facebook group. That night after Tyler had gotten home and we had had dinner my dad called—I was in the bathroom and had missed it by seconds. I called him back immediately, and with a solemn whisper my dad told me that my grandpa had passed away. I asked him how he was doing and with a short reply the conversation had ended. I walked into our hallway and it hit me—a flood of uncontrollable sobbing took over my body. Tyler ushered me to the couch to hold me for a second time as I lay there crying. Once the tears ended, we didn't want to go to bed. Around 11:30 we decided to go for a bit of a drive and ended up buying some comfort gelato at the grocery store. We came home and ate ice cream while watching comedies. It's hard to believe he is gone, but I know I will see him again. I think the hardest thing is knowing how heartbroken my grandma must be. This day was hard and exhausting and I'm glad that it is over.